How to Build Unshakable Confidence and Step into Your Power

Let’s get real: confidence isn’t something you “have” or “don’t have.” It’s not a magic gene a few lucky people were born with. Confidence is built—brick by brick, bold step by bold step. And the best part? It’s all yours for the taking!

If you’ve ever felt like you were waiting for someone else to hand you the mic, the promotion, or the permission to go after what you really want… newsflash: no one’s coming to hand you anything. It’s time to take it yourself. The power you’re looking for? It’s been inside you this whole time. It's about time you unleash it.

1. Own Your Worth Like a Boss

First things first: stop waiting for someone else to tell you you’re worthy. You already are. Full stop. The minute you stop tying your value to someone else’s approval or validation, you’ve already won half the battle.

There was a time when I completely lost sight of who I was. I started believing the labels others put on me—‘failure,’ ‘the black sheep,’ ‘the one who couldn’t get it together.’ I let those words sink in, allowing them to define me. All while I ignored the incredible things I was doing, the battles I was quietly winning. I was a young single mom, who graduated at the top of my class, I volunteered, I provided for my son all on my own. But I never gave myself the credit and kept waiting for someone else to say, "You’re doing great."

Then one day, I decided I didn’t need anyone's approval anymore. I looked at everything I had accomplished and thought, “I did that. I’m proud of it. And I'm capable of way more.”

Moral of the story: You decide your worth—not your boss, not society, not even your parents. Own it like the powerhouse you are.

2. Make Your Inner Critic Pipe Down

Let’s talk about the real villain here: that annoying inner voice that loves to whisper, “Who do you think you are?” or “You’re not ready.” That voice? It’s a liar. You know how that inner critic works? Like a backseat driver who’s never touched a steering wheel in their life but thinks they know everything. Next time that voice tells you to play small, remind it who’s in charge. One of my favorite tricks? Name your inner critic. She can be called Debbie Downer, and every time she starts yammering on, say to her, “Thanks for your input, Debbie, but I got this.”

Naming your inner critic takes the power away from it. Suddenly, it’s just noise.

3. Fail Spectacularly

You know who never fails? People who never try. But you, my friend, are not here to play it safe. The road to building unshakable confidence is paved with failures—messy, glorious, fantastic failures. And guess what? Every single one of them makes you stronger.

Think about it: The first time you tried to ride a bike, you probably face-planted. But did you give up? Nope, you got back on and tried again until you nailed it. Confidence works the same way.

An acquaintance of mine once created an account to show off her dancing skills. I hate to say it but she bombed. Like, truly bombed. But instead of running away in shame, she continued. She pivoted quite a few times and continued to show up on her account even bolder. Eventually, she got to where she wanted to be. Her showing up for herself now provides for her lifestyle, takes her around the globe and has created a loyal following of over 260k people. That’s the power of failing forward.

4. Take Bold Action (Before You Feel Ready)

Here’s a secret: the people who seem super confident? They’re not waiting until they feel confident to take action. Nope, they’re doing it scared. I can not count the times, I sang or spoke in front of people ready to sh*t my pants. I still get nervous but I don't allow it to consume me.

The truth is, confidence doesn’t magically appear when you’ve got everything figured out. It shows up when you act before you’re ready. Don’t wait until you feel 100% prepared (you will be waiting forever). Instead, take that bold leap—whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, saying yes to a big opportunity, or asking for what you’re worth.

You’ll surprise yourself with how capable you are once you just go for it. You don’t need permission. You need to take action.

5. Surround Yourself with People Who Get It

Confidence is contagious. If you hang out with people who are constantly doubting themselves or downplaying their accomplishments, you’ll start doing the same. But when you surround yourself with fierce, bold women who are chasing their dreams unapologetically? You’ll find yourself leveling up, too.

Remember that saying, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with”? Take a look around. Are you surrounding yourself with people who lift you up, cheer you on, and challenge you to be your best self? If not, it’s time to upgrade your tribe. It is like a domino effect—when everyone around you feels empowered to chase their own goals, you can go even harder. That’s the power of community. Don’t underestimate it.

6. Celebrate Every Damn Win

We are SO good at downplaying our accomplishments. How many times have you done something amazing and brushed it off like it was no big deal? Stop that. Right now.

Confidence isn’t built by waiting for a grand, life-changing moment. It’s built by showing up for yourself over and over again, stacking small wins, celebrating each one, and realizing how far you’ve come. Did you nail a presentation? Woo-hoo! Did you finally have that tough conversation you’ve been avoiding? Celebrate it! Did you step out of your comfort zone, even just a little bit? Get it queen!

Confidence grows when you stop and acknowledge all the ways you’ve been showing up for yourself. You’re doing more than you give yourself credit for—so own it!

Step Into Your Power

Unshakable confidence doesn’t come from waiting for the stars to align. It comes from deciding to show up, flaws and all, and own the space you’re in. So stop waiting for permission. Stop letting your inner critic run the show. Stop doubting your worth.

You’ve got everything you need to be a Category of One. Now go out there and show the world what you’re made of.